Once upon a time lasts forever

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I stumbled across the above quote, and it resonates incredibly powerfully. Early on this summer I completed a course called The Performer’s Playground with ClownLab. It was a 12 week exploration of playfulness. We had a lot of conversation about finding the joy or the fun in something and enjoying being beautiful even if we were playing something ugly. How do we create fun or channel playfulness?

On reflection, I think the things that inhibit me are the parameters that I  have either set myself or the the ones that I have allowed others to set for me – ‘the table of do’s and don’ts‘ as Pullman calls it. There are a list of things I can do and a list of things I can’t do. I wrote a while back about Growth Mindset, the idea that through a shift in personal attitude can alter our potential. How do we know that our personal attitude needs to shift? How do we believe that our potential is unlimited?

Neil Gaiman wrote in Coraline “Fairy tales are more then true; Not because they tell us the Dragons exist, but because they tell us that Dragons can be beaten”.

 

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illustrations by F. D. Bedford  J.M. Barrie’s Peter & Wendy

Stories allow us to see that we can do, or be anything. Some of our favourite characters in our most loved tales and stories have the hardest start; they are orphans. Harry Potter to Cinderella; Superman to Peter Pan; Mowgli to Sophie in the BFG. Their world has been disrupted in a way that no one would want for a child.  Yet, these characters go on amazing adventures, and overcome huge obstacles and show a resourcefulness and resilience to find their way through. Peter Pan has no ‘list of right or wrongs’ just a love of play and make believe. His game playing allows him survive and outwit his enemies.

 

The art of oral storytelling transcends age, ethnicity, education, borders and gender whilst also recording and reflecting our difference in those things. This kind of storytelling is a shared act between teller and listener. Jane B. Wilson tells us in her book The Story Experience, “Those who tell tales are both speakers and listeners. They have heard and remember”.

We are all storytellers and we are all listeners, if we allow ourselves the possibility to listen. We can all believe that we can do more, be more then we think we are. If we see others have defeated the bad guys, maybe we can too.

“The listener is caught and whirled into a talk, living for a single moment in the good, the great, the naughty, the lost. The tellers voice awakes dreams and spins stuff for thought; incites to contemplation.”

The Story Experience, Jane B. Wilson

 

 

 

Little Red Riding Hood – Wolf Mask

I have been working with Z-Arts and Crumpsall Lane Primary School in Manchester, creating story telling pieces for the schools reception class. Its been really wonderful and tomorrow we go into our third week of the project based on the collections of Brother’s Grimm, and this week we are looking at Little Red Riding Hood or as Bro

Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red by Felicity Goodman 

ther’s Grimm called Little Red Cap.

This story has been re told and re told and re told, and I have a strong suspicion that the children will be very familiar with it. I think that each week they have bought there own colour and magic to the stories we have looked at (Musicians of Bremen and Hansel and Gretel.) That is why working with these traditional stories is such a gift because they can be re told in so many different ways. As a story teller, I love the immediacy of the retelling. The audience being very active in shaping how the story looks and feels.  These stories are so beautifully simple but it is quite easy to overlook them.

I also provide lesson plans in arts crafts for further exploration of these stories in the class in the week that follows. I’d thought I’d pass on one of the craft exercises in this weeks lesson plan. You can never have too many resources available!

 

Wolf Mask

Wolf Mask Template

Template for Wolf Mask

First things first, copy the above template for each of the components in the mask and cut them out. I made the mistake of putting it all together before I coloured it in, which made it much harder to build, the above image is on an A4 piece of paper. You could print it directly onto card if you’d prefer. An extra task for the children , could be to draw around pre cut provided templates and see if they could get them to fit it onto a sheet of A4 card.

The decorating is worth spending time on as the masks look so much better as a result. I kept my decoration very simple and only used felt tip, but I think the mask would come alive even further with some fake fur or felt or if the teeth were very shiny….

Stick the front and the back thin pieces together. I used masking tape to stick the pieces together, that way I can adjust easily to the circumference of head that is resting on. I then
took the nose piece and folded along each of the dotted lines.

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I attached part one, by folding over the top of the front piece of headband in the middle of the ears and secured with tape.

I then attached the mouth piece behind section 2 of the nose and then the tongue behind the mouth.

Nice and straight forward. Now you can howl at the moon and be big, bad and scary!

Be sure to Tweet or Instagram the results!

 

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Other yoghurts are available, but this one is SUBLIME!

Too Many Choices…..

That’s what she said.

Too many choices.

That’s the problem for us women today,

We just have too many choices.

Too many choices.

Like the idea that all the infinite possibilities that women could pursue

is  whittled down to the same principle of picking your dinner.

Too many choices.

When you go to a one of those big pub chains and you unfold the double sided 5 paged and your like I don’t know what to have there are just too many choices

That’s just the way that women feel.

Me.

I’m a woman.

That I don’t know whether to have the lasagna or the salad.

and I’ll spend ages thinking about it

and the waitress comes over

and I ask for more time.

And lasagna or salad

lasagna or salad

salad and lasagna?????

And just when I’m convinced the choice is whittled down to two and I’m just about to leap off  and commit to one

I see it.

The Mexican section.

And its there and I think what ever was i thinking going for lasagna when i could have an enchilada

or a burrito

or a fajita?

Then I think well aren’t these things all the same thing?

Just wraps in different varieties?

And they have a whole section on wraps.

And I love wraps.

They are all there.

Duck in Hoisin Sauce with iceberg lettuce and cucumber

Southern fried chicken with BBQ sauce

(less bothered about this one)

Chicken, bacon and tomato.

And Oh Mer Gerd!

They have goats cheese. With beetroot and carrot and baby spinach.

That does sound great.

Yep really good.

Like well tasty.

I mean it is a bit of a risk.

having something with that little ‘v’ next to it in a pub that could probably fund its own abatoir with the high levels of meat on this menu.

but no this is good.

great actually.

yep and I’m sure that’s what I’m going to say as the waitress comes over but when she says

what would you like?

It just happens

the words just fall out of my mouth

and I say a cheese burger in a brioche bun with onion rings and side salad and skin on fries.

That. That there.

That is just like the problem for us women today.

Too Many Choices.

Playing?! Kids Stuff….

Play is a significant part of who we are as people. In fact, it is through play that humans are wired to learn. I love playing. I could play all day. I love games and songs and stories and dancing and make believe. Make believe is the best part of everything ever. But why is pretending to be a golden unicorn with ambitions to be the World Salsa Champion deemed as less then being a Doctor or a Engineer or a Fiscal Officer? I can see the significance of these roles in our society and I am not disputing their worth. They are in the hierarchy of professions though. They use our brains, in a way that we can quantify with money. Play is nothing in the face of medicine, technologies and finances. How have we got here? There are plenty of great thinkers who thought and still think today that play is an essential part of our make up. People at the top of the game in STEM subjects are saying that play is  important part of innovation and discovery. However even if I was the best person at pretending to be a golden unicorn with ambitions to be a World Salsa Champion and I mean the BEST, I still wouldn’t be taken serious because make believe and play? Well that’s just for kids!

golden_unicorn_by_yaizel

Basic Salsa, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8

Kenneth R. Ginsberg writes on behalf of the American Academy of Paediatrics, outlining some of the ways that Play is important:-

“Play allows children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity, and physical, cognitive, and emotional strength. Play is important to healthy brain development. It is through play that children at a very early age engage and interact in the world around them. Play allows children to create and explore a world they can master, conquering their fears while practicing adult roles, sometimes in conjunction with other children or adult caregivers. As they master their world, play helps children develop new competencies that lead to enhanced confidence and the resiliency they will need to face future challenges.”

(Kenneth R. Ginsberg, http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/119/1/182)

Most of us have a good understanding of the importance of play in our children’s lives. We look at the opportunities that we can present them with. We hear the generations above us groan about kids being kept indoors, playing endlessly at video games and watching rubbish on iPads while at the same time managing to do Dancing on Monday, Choir on Tuesday, Art on Wednesday, Spanish on Thursday, Football on a Friday night and then Mindful-tots on a Saturday morning. So our kids are either doing too much or not enough??

Ginsberg talks about both of these things in his article and tells us that Parents are being fed ‘carefully marketed messages’ that children need every chance to be their best through parents buying a variety of toys and materials and making sure their children go to a range of activitities. Parents are not only being told that this is good for their child, they are also being told that this is the definition of a good parent.

It’s hard though, to work out what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and ‘good’ and ‘bad’. After all we are all new to it. We’ve not done it before. We’re sleep deprived. It seems to be working for others and don’t get me wrong some children do completely thrive in a bustling week. These classes are structured and adult led. There is normally no element of free play. The kind where kids play shop, or mermaids. Or have an afternoon tea party with their teddies or get to be the fastest footballer on the planet or the bravest explorer.

Free play that is child driven is essential to the development of negotiation skills and an opportunity for children to discover what they are interested in. For many adults, play is something done by those mini adults that walk around copying every gesture, phrase or grimace that we do. Play seems hard. We know all the rules. We have all the answers. We have pressures on our time to keep the ship running smoothly. We have an idea and we suggest it to our children and then what?

We all just have to be careful about why we are setting up activities for our children. What might we be missing out on by keeping everyone busy and on the move. Our children need it yes, but we, the parents need it too. We need time to learn about our children’s likes and dislikes, we need to learn how to socialise and share and negotiate. We need time to cool off and unwind. Our children need to see us do this so that they do it too. Finding our love and comfort in free play is as necessary for our children to witness, as our children doing it in the first place. Our kids won’t see the point in it if we don’t.

So playing? Playing is more than stuff for kids. We need to let our children play freely and get on board with them. Let them decide the rules. If you’re not sure what that entirely means, I want to take you back in time to the late 80s in the Goodman household. There we all are: Big sister (7), big brother (5) and I (3) in the fun loving hands of our favourite babysitter -Wendy. We are wearing a rainbow of shell suits. We’d just finished watching the Never Ending Story on BBC 2.

Big Sister: Let's play a game.
Big Brother: Yeah, let's play a game.
Me: I know a game.
Big Sister: Really?
Me: Yeah.
Big Brother: Bet you don't.
Me: I do.
Big Brother: No, you don't.
Me: Yes, I do.
Big Brother: No.
Me: Yes.
Big Sister: What is it then?
Me: Kangaroo
Big Sister: What's the rules?
Me: Whoever jumps the highest wins.

Big Brother and Big Sister exchange a look. 

Big Brother: Fine. I'll go first.

He jumps. Big Sister jumps. I climb on the sofa.

Big Sister: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CHEATER!!
Me: I never said that I couldn't jump off something.
Big Brother: Fine then, I will jump off this chair. And be higher then   you.
Me: NO.
Big Sister: What? Why not?
Me: THOSE AREN'T THE RULES.
Big Sister: What? Those are different rules for you then us.
Me: Yup.
Big Brother: Well that's not fair.
Me: (With as much 3 year old sass as I can muster) Well, its MY game. So it's MY rules.
Big Sister: Then I'm not playing.

Big Brother and Big Sister leave

kangaroos

As irritating as this must have been for my older siblings (they have never let me live this one down), that is what child led play would look like. Let your child invent new stories where there is the same line about a big fat pig running down your trousers in every other sentence. In fact, encourage it. Get them to tell you how things work. Enjoy them sticking 23 dinosaur stickers in exactly the same position, or pour out the glue so the paper disappears. This is them playing. Hang out with them and accept what they are offering. The world that will open up for you both will be a truly magical one. One where a golden unicorn gets to Salsa.

 

Felicity Goodman in a Voice Teacher, Playologist and Storyteller in Manchester, U.K. To find out more about her work please visit felicitygoodman.co.uk

 

 

Sound

54eb698451151_-_9-things-you-didn-t-know-about-your-ears-mdnSound is a wonderful thing. It fills me up, takes me away, gets my body moving and connects me to others. The spoken voice has the same effect and I love the act of sharing sound. It could stories about your Granny, songs for you children, sounds as you try to loosen your voice and set it free. It could be the first dance at your wedding, the way that you mother said your name when you were caught doing something you shouldn’t or the way that a whole room will start dancing to Whigfield’s Saturday Night.

It could be on the words from your midwife saying ‘it’s a girl!’ or the sound your child makes when saying hello, like a sample it sticks in your head on loop. Sound can be the turn of the key in a lock, in an egnition, in a front door. It could be the smashing of glass, the churning of the washing machine. It could be sssshhs and aaaahhss and ohs and ows and wows. Sound whether I hear it or make it, I feel its vibrations deep in my stomach warming up my body and trickling through me like an outstanding chocolate soufflé.

Sound can swamp us, divide us and conquer us. It can leave us alone and aching for noise to filter through our ears. It can build us up, reach out to love ones and strangers and alert others to dangers. It can be comfort. The sound of the oven timer, bread being lifted out of the oven and turned out onto a cooling rack.

Sound can be the voice of someone telling others what is right and wrong, who is right or wrong or where is right is wrong. Sound can be the sound of water lapping on the side of a rubber dingy as you make your way to a new life. Sound can be the shuffle of papers as you wait nervously for someone to tell you you are allowed to stay. It can be the call to arms, the call to hate, the call of love and propaganda and bird song and waterfalls and the purr of you cat. It can be the slam on your brakes, letting that pheasant quickly escape. Sound can be, can be, can be….

difference-between-sound-waves-and-electromagnetic-waves-image-1The sounds we make and hear have specific memories attached to them. Some of my clients and quite often surprised by the emotional challenges that voice work brings to the surface. I’m not a counsellor, but I am a willing listener and an open ear. I have to be to be a good teacher. Whether you come in the door, looking for accent reduction, better breath support or increased authenticity in the way you speak, a safe and open environment will greet you. Something which is vital for the vulnerability that is often exposed in the lessons.

Today is a new day and we don’t know what sounds await in the future. If you write, keep writing. If you sing, keep singing. Keep dancing, creating and sharing. It can feel so unbelievably futile but it is where we can be vulnerable and share our thoughts. Keep practicing vulnerability and trust that the sounds that come with that as just as valuable and beautiful as anything else.

 

Felicity is a Voice Teacher, Playologist and Story Teller based in South Manchester, UK. To find out more about her work, please visit http://www.felicitygoodman.co.uk

 

Girls -The Process

When I did P.E. in school it was a requirement that we all had to shower post exercise. I’m pretty sure that we were not the only group of school girls who had to do this. We were fortunate as we had individual cubicles in which to shower in with curtains for a privacy which is more then our male counterparts had! The deal was this:
If you were on your period you were excused from showering. A little ‘P’ was marked next to your name in the register. This is odd looking back, like our periods made us all witches where we would burn if water was thrown on us. Like our periods made us unwashable or informed in some way. (This belongs in a different blog I think.)
The Wizard Of Oz
If you were not on your period, you got down to your knickers and bra, pulled your bra straps off your shoulders and wrapped your towel around you. You would then walk into the shower. Splash some water on your upper body, walk out and then be ticked off as washing. We all did this. Without exception. We weren’t challenged to shower properly, even though it must have been really obvious to the female staff that checked us off. After we showered we dosed ourselves with Charlie Red or Impulse.
This was 15 plus years ago, before the internet had really made its mark on us all and certainly before the days of social media. Even then, we were ashamed of our bodies not wanting to reveal them to each other for fear of being found lacking.
Last week I shared this video in response to the Children’s society’s report that revealed that 1 in 3 girls aged between 10 and 14 felt worthless based on their appearance.

It triggered an anger in me that compelled me to write and deliver that piece within a day. How, for all the vast leaps that we have achieved in our culture, are we still sending a message to young girls that how they look is the defining thing about them.

I wanted to place images in the video that were linked to the words being spoken. I decided to type words into google images to use the results. Here are some of the things I discovered….

If you type in Girls you get this page….

girls-google-search

When you type lips:

lips

And so on…

eyes

Typing eyes

And so on…

hair
Typing Hair

And so on….

legs
Typing Legs
Sobering stuff. None of these images are less then what we would class as perfect. These legs are long, smooth, tanned and exact. They don’t represent that majority of the world’s legs, they represent a very particular group of women’s legs. The eyes have all got make up on, as natural as they are being made to look. The lips are also perfectly shaped, have lipstick on them and are mostly fairly seductive. The hair is all thick and voluminous. Its shiny and smooth. I have never seen hair like this on a real person in the flesh in front of me. What’s more concerning is that I didn’t add the prefix of ‘girl’s’ to legs, hair, eyes and lips. Yet all the images that came up are of young women. While I can’t gurantee the ethnicity of all of these models, I think it is fair to say they are predominantly white women.
It is images that are being broadcasted all the time to our young women and girls. When you look at these images they mostly seem like incredibly striking women and its easy to see why we would all like to look like them.
We need to make moves to fight these images and getting these girls more body positive. Schools and communities need to be taking responsibilities and tackling this issue head on. The message being sent out is that if their bodies fit into a certain criteria then they are more desirable. Girls are seeing this and hearing this. Along with the ‘perfect’ bodies that are being projected at them, no wonder their self esteem is worryingly low. Malala Yousafzai puts it well “I raise up my voice—not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard…we cannot succeed when half of us are held back.”
We, as a society, are holding girls back by placing their value in how they look over what they can achieve.
So what can we do?
1. Compliment a girls character, not her appearance. What’s she good at? what’s she overcome recently? What has she been working on? What does she like to read? Take her to things. spend time learning about what she would like to do.
2. Get writing to you M.P asking for it to be compulsory to teach sex education, mental health and body image in every single school. www.writetothem.com is a great inline tool for finding your local MP and writing to them.
3. Limit time on the internet. I spoke to a teacher recently who said that the girls she taught were looking very tired. when she spoke to their parents, they would say ‘She’s up all night on her phone’. Make some rules about where and when to use the phone. Maybe the whole family can implement a system of putting all their phones on charge in the kitchen for the night? Not having devices out at the dinner table? Is your daughter old enough to be using social media? Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Youtube and Instagram say users need to be over 13.  The problem is its pretty impossible for these companies to enforce these rules, and for a parent. We must understand however that when we arm our daughters with a phone or device we are giving them access to a world of information that we might not feel comfortable looking at.
4.Call people out for making jokes or insulting comments at the expense of someone’s appearance. We’ve all heard these off the cuff remarks about the way someone looks and felt the feeling that we should just laugh it off. However we are sending a message out that this behaviour is appropriate at best and at worst, funny.
Felicity Goodman is a Voice Teacher, Writer and Theatre maker based in Manchester. Please contact her if you interested in Vocal Training or collaborating. To learn more about the work she does, please visit www.felicitygoodman.co.uk